Mujhse Shaadi Karoge- A letter to my prospective Husband
Well, as I earlier said that I will surely post my writings and poems, its now time to post my imaginary letter to my imaginary husband.
I wrote it about two months back.
And the Man hunt is still on ....mujhe koi jaldi nahi hai, its my family whos religiously pursuing this issue... Goodluck to them !!
here it goes...
My Dear Mr. Would be (husband)…
Hello! Who are you? Where are you? I am sorry I am not going to ask you how you are and get into your health issues… precisely, because I still don’t know you and THIS is the irony of my life... “I don’t know you... Yet your absence plays an important part in my life.”
Now let me get to business. As I earlier asked you... Where are you and who are you? In which part of the planet earth do you exist? What do you do for a living? Are you a doctor? Engineer? Businessman? Lawyer or professor? Ummm any more professions left out…ok... a sportsperson? An accountant? Blah blah blah. Who are you yaar?
Do you have any idea or clue about how eagerly everyone in my family is awaiting your grand entry in their lives? (Actually it should be my life… but they are keener. seems they will be happier than me if and when I get married). In this letter of mine I am beseeching you on their behalf to come quickly and give them some peace of mind. What you are going to read ahead might convince you to do so. So here is my jeremiad.
My parents keep on talking about you very often. They discuss your nature, stature, and looks-vooks. Well all presume you are pretty tall. (It’s but obvious I can’t marry a dwarf… even though even a normal guy would look like Lilliputian standing next to me. God!! Why am I 5feet 10inches short???). They talk about anything and everything about you. In short they look forward to you as the most eligible bachelor!
You really are unaware about the developments here. You indeed don’t know how desperately everyone is, to hunt you down. Be it parents, grandparents, relatives, friends... it seems the whole world is conspiring against you and me to unite. What’s more amusing is the dedicated interest that these aunties take in you. They never forget to remind us that it’s high time I should tie the knot as good guys like you are rare. I presume it’s their birth right to interfere in others lives on pretext of suggestions and advice. All thanks to them, they have given shivers to the entire family with stories of how bad the world is and how we girls are getting carried away by filmy duniya etc etc. and not to forget… the manner in which they terrorize all on my growing age. I wonder is it ever too late to get married?
Talking about grandparents, well I blame the old age and generation gap for their stance. They believe that marriage is the ultimate aim in life and it should happen as soon as possible. Why don’t they get us married when we are born? Now let me warn you a bit.
Come fast... Come as soon as possible.
My granny has many other competitors lined up for you. One is from the US, the others from nearby Canada (Doctor), yesterday she was talking about a wrist watch distributor in Delhi. So you better watch out. I wonder what’s taking you so long to appear. Are you busy with work or girlfriends? Or like me you too think it’s a little early to get married?
Well. Sitting here I all I can do is just presume or suppose the probable cause of your delay in our lives.
But trust me you are sought after big-time here. They enquire about you to anybody possible. They are leaving no stone unturned. My relatives have gone berserk. Every one has their own valid reasons for our early and divine union. Aunties will grab this golden opportunity of buying all those outfits and jewelry that they dreamt of flaunting. Uncles too will have the time of their lives hitting on girls their daughters’ age and boozing as if the excise department will ban liquor after our marriage. My cousins too have gone nuts. All they want is an occasion to dance and tease your sisters (do you have one???)
Are these reasons not adequate and persuasive enough for you to think over and walk into our lives?? Or should I justify my plight too?
Before that let me ask you… do you also face the same wrath at home? Are you not pestered? If you are, then please suggest how you handle them yaar! As I too need some tips badly.
Believe me day by day it’s getting embarrassing for me and I can’t stand it anymore. They make fun of me as if I am the perpetrator for your delay. Have some shame! How can you silently view your wife -to -be in such a state of misery and disdain? See I am being frank and honest to you from the scratch. Why don’t you come out and help me?
You are absolutely ignorant of my mental agony. (Oops don’t deduce that I am mad or a moron. I am not mental but I surely am getting sentimental)
I just want to tell you that just because we both have to get married soon (amen!!!????) (How soon or late even I don’t know... depends on your fateful arrival) no one allows me to do anything. I want to pursue further studies, but your late entry is the hindering cause. They say you are on your way hence I cannot go to college anymore. (Bewakoof!! budhi ho ke shaadi karegi… that’s what I hear when I say I want to do MBA.)
When I say that I want to take music sessions, I am advised I should learn to cook for you (do we get married to cook??). When I say I want to work, they ask me to join them and the only job they assign is to get tea or print a document. I am not permitted to hang out with friends as they might provoke me against you. Just because you too might be attending XYZ s wedding or party, I should dress up to impress you in first glance (hinting that am all ready and available for marriage) and this is not it. Since you might not like a slightly-little over weight (I just need to shed three-four kgs man!!), wheatish complexioned girl (I am tanned); I should diet, diet and die and visit parlors.
Are these reasons not considerable?
Are you still not impressed by me? I have given up my food, education, friends and hobbies for you and you are missing. How do I tell you that each decision pertaining to my future revolves around you? I wonder my hopes and I will die a premature death if you take any longer to arrive and if this is the case, I curse you -you will be me and I will be you in next life (sorry… I am really perturbed).
Can I ask you one more thing? I am sure you too do things that I wouldn’t like or approve but does anyone stop you? No, isn’t it? You indisputably are leading an envious bachelor life then why do I have to suffer? Why should I waste my time speculating your auspicious entry in my life (oops... my life is not my life anyways…u know what I mean?)
And by the way don’t get over attached to your girl friend that you will have to comprise for me. I am not as generous as Preity Zinta to let u go off!! (Sigh! pehele milo toh sahi!!)And I guess I have the requisite confidence to not let you go away. Ha-ha... I am not being pompous; I am just trying to elucidate that it’s high time you meet me! Let’s not play any more hide and seek. If you enjoy the game so much I promise we will play it with our kids. For now I am fed up of being the denner.
Come soon... For anyone’s sake!! Come fast my dreams are getting crushed daily!
Ok now the final word.
Come fast IF you will let me study.
Come fast IF you love music and would allow me to sing.
Come fast IF you respect women for what they are and not preach what they should be or do.
Come fast IF you can guide me to be a better person.
Come fast IF you have an aim and I can support you to attain it.
Come fast IF you too need me and believe that I can standby you through thick and thin.
Come fast IF we are meant to be together… in short come fast IF we can be happily married and help each other realize your, mine and our dreams.
Hello! Who are you? Where are you? I am sorry I am not going to ask you how you are and get into your health issues… precisely, because I still don’t know you and THIS is the irony of my life... “I don’t know you... Yet your absence plays an important part in my life.”
Now let me get to business. As I earlier asked you... Where are you and who are you? In which part of the planet earth do you exist? What do you do for a living? Are you a doctor? Engineer? Businessman? Lawyer or professor? Ummm any more professions left out…ok... a sportsperson? An accountant? Blah blah blah. Who are you yaar?
Do you have any idea or clue about how eagerly everyone in my family is awaiting your grand entry in their lives? (Actually it should be my life… but they are keener. seems they will be happier than me if and when I get married). In this letter of mine I am beseeching you on their behalf to come quickly and give them some peace of mind. What you are going to read ahead might convince you to do so. So here is my jeremiad.
My parents keep on talking about you very often. They discuss your nature, stature, and looks-vooks. Well all presume you are pretty tall. (It’s but obvious I can’t marry a dwarf… even though even a normal guy would look like Lilliputian standing next to me. God!! Why am I 5feet 10inches short???). They talk about anything and everything about you. In short they look forward to you as the most eligible bachelor!
You really are unaware about the developments here. You indeed don’t know how desperately everyone is, to hunt you down. Be it parents, grandparents, relatives, friends... it seems the whole world is conspiring against you and me to unite. What’s more amusing is the dedicated interest that these aunties take in you. They never forget to remind us that it’s high time I should tie the knot as good guys like you are rare. I presume it’s their birth right to interfere in others lives on pretext of suggestions and advice. All thanks to them, they have given shivers to the entire family with stories of how bad the world is and how we girls are getting carried away by filmy duniya etc etc. and not to forget… the manner in which they terrorize all on my growing age. I wonder is it ever too late to get married?
Talking about grandparents, well I blame the old age and generation gap for their stance. They believe that marriage is the ultimate aim in life and it should happen as soon as possible. Why don’t they get us married when we are born? Now let me warn you a bit.
Come fast... Come as soon as possible.
My granny has many other competitors lined up for you. One is from the US, the others from nearby Canada (Doctor), yesterday she was talking about a wrist watch distributor in Delhi. So you better watch out. I wonder what’s taking you so long to appear. Are you busy with work or girlfriends? Or like me you too think it’s a little early to get married?
Well. Sitting here I all I can do is just presume or suppose the probable cause of your delay in our lives.
But trust me you are sought after big-time here. They enquire about you to anybody possible. They are leaving no stone unturned. My relatives have gone berserk. Every one has their own valid reasons for our early and divine union. Aunties will grab this golden opportunity of buying all those outfits and jewelry that they dreamt of flaunting. Uncles too will have the time of their lives hitting on girls their daughters’ age and boozing as if the excise department will ban liquor after our marriage. My cousins too have gone nuts. All they want is an occasion to dance and tease your sisters (do you have one???)
Are these reasons not adequate and persuasive enough for you to think over and walk into our lives?? Or should I justify my plight too?
Before that let me ask you… do you also face the same wrath at home? Are you not pestered? If you are, then please suggest how you handle them yaar! As I too need some tips badly.
Believe me day by day it’s getting embarrassing for me and I can’t stand it anymore. They make fun of me as if I am the perpetrator for your delay. Have some shame! How can you silently view your wife -to -be in such a state of misery and disdain? See I am being frank and honest to you from the scratch. Why don’t you come out and help me?
You are absolutely ignorant of my mental agony. (Oops don’t deduce that I am mad or a moron. I am not mental but I surely am getting sentimental)
I just want to tell you that just because we both have to get married soon (amen!!!????) (How soon or late even I don’t know... depends on your fateful arrival) no one allows me to do anything. I want to pursue further studies, but your late entry is the hindering cause. They say you are on your way hence I cannot go to college anymore. (Bewakoof!! budhi ho ke shaadi karegi… that’s what I hear when I say I want to do MBA.)
When I say that I want to take music sessions, I am advised I should learn to cook for you (do we get married to cook??). When I say I want to work, they ask me to join them and the only job they assign is to get tea or print a document. I am not permitted to hang out with friends as they might provoke me against you. Just because you too might be attending XYZ s wedding or party, I should dress up to impress you in first glance (hinting that am all ready and available for marriage) and this is not it. Since you might not like a slightly-little over weight (I just need to shed three-four kgs man!!), wheatish complexioned girl (I am tanned); I should diet, diet and die and visit parlors.
Are these reasons not considerable?
Are you still not impressed by me? I have given up my food, education, friends and hobbies for you and you are missing. How do I tell you that each decision pertaining to my future revolves around you? I wonder my hopes and I will die a premature death if you take any longer to arrive and if this is the case, I curse you -you will be me and I will be you in next life (sorry… I am really perturbed).
Can I ask you one more thing? I am sure you too do things that I wouldn’t like or approve but does anyone stop you? No, isn’t it? You indisputably are leading an envious bachelor life then why do I have to suffer? Why should I waste my time speculating your auspicious entry in my life (oops... my life is not my life anyways…u know what I mean?)
And by the way don’t get over attached to your girl friend that you will have to comprise for me. I am not as generous as Preity Zinta to let u go off!! (Sigh! pehele milo toh sahi!!)And I guess I have the requisite confidence to not let you go away. Ha-ha... I am not being pompous; I am just trying to elucidate that it’s high time you meet me! Let’s not play any more hide and seek. If you enjoy the game so much I promise we will play it with our kids. For now I am fed up of being the denner.
Come soon... For anyone’s sake!! Come fast my dreams are getting crushed daily!
Ok now the final word.
Come fast IF you will let me study.
Come fast IF you love music and would allow me to sing.
Come fast IF you respect women for what they are and not preach what they should be or do.
Come fast IF you can guide me to be a better person.
Come fast IF you have an aim and I can support you to attain it.
Come fast IF you too need me and believe that I can standby you through thick and thin.
Come fast IF we are meant to be together… in short come fast IF we can be happily married and help each other realize your, mine and our dreams.
And if not … then BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME!!(As I don’t want my future to be a replica of my present. The present –where life seems futile, uninteresting and each day a burden to live)
Till then take care and enjoy life.
Once again I plead you to come soon. (Subject to conditions mentioned above: P)
Yours Hopefully…..
(P.S- if you are not the one, then kindly circulate this to people whom you think fall under this category and would be interested.)
Dated – till we meet (or I get married to someone else!!)!!
posted by !!~*~ Gul~*~!! at 7:13 PM
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